Matteo!!!
18 / he/him / gay trans dude
Dragon Rider AU
Gavroche with the happiest, clumsiest baby dragon there is. He stole the egg a while back but the streets aren’t the best place to hatch a dragon egg so it was born with a few defects. That’s okay though because Gavroche doesn’t care that ‘Maladroit’s’ wings are too small for flight or that sometimes it trips over it’s own feet, to him it’s the most perfect friend. The gamin made his own riding gear out of stolen scraps of fabric and his dragon even gets his own cockade because it’s part of the team now. And even though Gavroche knows he may never get a chance to fly like the rest of the Amis, the two of them are content to wreak havoc on ground level.
rb and tag your pet’s moral alignment. for example my dog is chaotic neutral.
i cant wait for the climax of Infinity War when Nicholas Cage as Ghost Rider just speeds in out of nowhere and one-shots Thanos and leaves without saying anything
today i was talking to my coworker jess and she said to me “i’ve been trying to think of how to tell my husband that i want a horse. i’m really non confrontational and i don’t know how to tell him. like, thanks for the flowers, but i want a horse.” and i was like, “well, you could always send him subliminal messages. like tape pictures of horses all over the walls and stuff” and she gave me this really weird look and was like “i said divorce not horse“ oh my god…
classic material
aries: as oscar Wilde once famously said, ‘fuck men’
taurus: i believe it was percy shelley who wrote ‘why cry over spilled milk when instead u could cry over everything’
gemini: you can lead a horse to water, but u can’t make the horse drink that fucking water if it wants vodka instead. sun tzu said that.
cancer: y’know, steinbeck once screamed ‘death to capitalism’ while setting himself on fire, and i couldn’t agree more.
leo: i was trying to think of a hemingway quote, but thankfully i just remembered that i don’t give a shit about hemingway
virgo: Flintstone vitamins are for losers. William shakespeare.
libra: did you know that that nicki minaj took the lyrics “i beez in the trap” straight from jane austen’s iconic 1813 novel pride and Prejudice?
scorpio: maya angelou actually invented the acronym NSFW, did u know that? ‘Not Safe From Whites’. they’re coming
sagittarius: the most inspirational thing walt whitman ever said was ‘dance like nobody’s watching’ that man was a poet
capricorn: ‘be there or be…gay! lol jk don’t be gay’ ~ the bible, chapter 5 verse 17
aquarius: honey, as Faulkner said once, ‘eat shit mark twain’. words to live by
pisces: nietzsche once said that dante was a ‘hyena that wrote poetry on tombs’ and i’m not making that shit up because nothing is funnier than that
OMG YOURE STRAIGHT WE HAVE TO PLAY FOOTBALL AND GO HUNTING SOMETIME
OH I HAVE A COUSIN WHO’S STRAIGHT I SHOULD INTRODUCE YOU
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT IM NOT A HETEROPHOBE ONE OF MY FRIENDS IS STRAIGHT
OMG I’VE ALWAYS WANTED A STRAIGHT BEST FRIEND!
HOW DO STRAIGHT PEOPLE HAVE SEX
HOW DID YOU KNOW YOU WERE STRAIGHT?
YOU DON’T LOOK STRAIGHT THOUGH?
I’M OKAY WITH STRAIGHT PEOPLE AS LONG AS THEY DON’T HIT ON ME LOL
ARE YOU SURE YOU AREN’T EVEN A LITTLE BIT GAY?
DID YOU HAVE A BAD RELATIONSHIP WHEN YOU WERE GAY?
HOW DO YOU KNOW YOUR STRAIGHT IF YOU’VE NEVER TRIED BEING WITH SOMEONE OF THE SAME GENDER
ITS OK THAT YOU ARE STRAIGHT BUT YOU SHOULDNT TALK ABOUT THESE THINGS AROUND CHILDREN
OH MY GOD NOT EVERYTHING HAS TO BE STRAIGHT, STOP MAKING PEOPLE PANDER TO YOUR AGENDA
IF YOURE EGYPTIAN AND LGBTQ+ GET OFF ANY QUEER DATING SITES, THE POLICE ARE TRACKING AND HUNTING PEOPLE DOWN AGAIN. DELETE YOUR ACCOUNTS.
I DON’T CARE IF YOU HAVE ONLY ONE FOLLOWER PLEASE EVERYONE REBLOG THIS!!!
THIS POST IS SCEDULED TO GO UP ONCE AN HOUR ON THIS BLOG UNTIL 24 HOURS SINCE THE FIRST POST BECAUSE IT’S THAT IMPORTANT THAT EVERYONE SEES IT!
Two school age kids: “Oh look at the big white puppy!”
Their mother: “Come here, let me explain something to you. That dog is a Service Dog. Whenever you see a dog in a store like this you can’t distract it cause it’s working.”
Two kids: “What do you mean he’s working?”
Mom: “He helps that girl. You know how at school your teacher tells you to be quite so you don’t get distracted doing your work? It’s the same thing with that dog. You can’t distract him.”
Two kids: “What does he help her with?”
Mom: “That’s her business. Your business is to not distract him so he can work.”
This is so sweet.
![sheepskeleton:
“ Mr. Nikiforov
[ref. J.C. Leyendecker painting]
[buy on Redbubble]
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